What is happening when you are reactive?

Much of the coaching work that I do centres around conflict within families. When it comes to communication, this area of our life can often be fraught with anger, resentment, hurt, guilt and the list goes on…

If you’ve been to one of my workshops before, you’ll already know that this is usually because one person has placed the responsibility for an emotional experience in the hands of someone else.

For example: When you do ‘x’, I feel ‘y’.
I feel so angry because you never listen to me

If we weren’t putting this responsibility on the other person, we wouldn’t be so reactive!

We would simply be sitting with the sadness or vulnerability or grief or whatever we are feeling, and “being with” what really matters to us about what is happening… maybe connection, intimacy, care, to be seen.  We would be considering how ELSE we can fulfil these precious needs, or we would be having conversations of honesty and vulnerability.

In next week’s video I will offer you a simple shortcut you can use to regain this authentic power, but this week I’d like to look at what is most important and where our power really lies.

You can find out more in the video below: